May 2012
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“There should always be something inside a monster that helps you understand it,...”
– Dan Harmon sends a letter to Kelly Oxford’s son about his movie Monster House
Brilliant stuff.
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“Weirdly, men manage to stick their penises into stuff all the time without...”
– Rihanna Does Whatever She Wants With Her Vagina and for Some Reason That’s a Problem
Funny and smart article about why we need to stop judging Rihanna and other celebrity women’s sexy lives, so that we can accept sexual behavior and protect women’s sexual health. Plus it’s...
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“I try to work with clients who have the right motivations,” he says. How...”
– Adam Lisagor: The Video Guru - Los Angeles Arts - Public Spectacle
Adam Lisagor is one of my favorite people who I don’t know. I’ve been following him on twitter since before you knew what twitter was. I’m a huge fan of his podcast, fashion show, and Sandwich Videos. I ran into...
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“I got Beats by Dre headphones, so I’ve been listening to more rap and...”
– Adam Dorsey.
Call me if you need a spokesman, Dre.
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Adam Dorsey: FACT OR FICTION?
It’s been a crazy couple weeks for a lot of reasons, the least of which is that I went to Disneyland for the first time ever.
There’s been good crazy, bad crazy, necessary crazy, and along the way I’ve just been crazy busy. I’ve tried to be as adult and grown-up as possible at each step of this crazy week, and for the most part I’m pretty proud of how I’ve...
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April 2012
12 posts
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A Sexist iPhone Gamer Gives Relationship Advice
She did what, bro? To your face, bro? Damn, bro. Look, bro. Here’s the deal, bro. I’m trying tell you, okay, bro, just give me a second, bro.
Girls are crazy. That’s why they call them girls, bro. If they weren’t crazy, they’d call them bros, you know? But let me break it down for you, okay, it’s like this: You don’t need ‘em. The girls, I mean,...
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Hipster Racism is still Racism
“And that’s where this vein of hipster racism starts. It tests the idea that anything wrapped with enough irony can be transformed into something else. The more uncool the raw materials are — trucker hats, ugly T-shirts, mustaches, smoking crack — the better the trick. What it really does is say, “I do not care what other people think (aside from my immediate social...
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“Enter Sundback, who was hired as an electrical engineer by the Universal...”
– Gideon Sundback: Today’s Google Doodle honors zipper genius - latimes.com
I think there could be a Hudsucker Proxy style bio-pic about the guy who perfected the zipper.
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“Non-work update: Last night I ate a lot of mexican food, saw Lindsay Lohan, and...”
– Me, via skype chat to my co-workers.
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“If I don’t say something in a rap or on Twitter, it’s not true.”
– Kanye West
Me too, ‘Ye. Me too.
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March 2012
8 posts
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An excerpt from my new urban horror movie "H2EZ"
"I think the water has become sentient."
"What?"
"I think the water is thinking for itself."
"I know what 'sentient' means, motherfucker! What I meant was, why the hell it gone and do that?"
"I don't know, but if we don't get out of here soon, there ain't gonna be no kids to save with our benefit rap concert."
"Bitch, you think I don't know we's made of two-thirds water? How the fuck I'm supposed to trust you?"
"Cuz I'm your brother, son, and BLOOD is thicker than WATER."
"True dat."
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This Strip of Tiny Speakers Could Replace Your... →
I’m excited about this, because I currently have no home theater setup.
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WatchI got to see this get taped yesterday. It was my first time going to a late-night talk show taping, and it was a blast. Helped that Kumail blew everyone away. It’s cool to have hilarious friends.
Here’s a picture I snapped of the Conan stage before the show started. Everything is much smaller in real life.
February 2012
5 posts
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January 2012
14 posts
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The Problem with Women
The problem with women is that they’re all so fucking different. You can keep trying to fit them into boxes, and cram them into stereotypes, but in the end it’s fucking hopeless—They’re always going to surprise you. You can take what you learn from one woman and try to apply it to the next, but it rarely works out that way. Instead of finding yourself with just another...
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LG Blast Chiller →
You guys! This fridge has a special compartment that chills drinks in 4 minutes! My reverse microwave is finally a reality! Now does anyone have the $2000+ for this super-fridge? And maybe a house to keep it in?
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Corrections: January 9th
Editor’s Note: In a chat on Monday, January 9th at 1:35pm, we posted an emoticon that was a happy face. That emoticon was an error. It should have been a sad face. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.
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Leaving a 7-11 at 2am last night
Some dude: Is that a Slim Jim you've got there?
Me: Yeah, I'm about to snap into it.
Obviously, I felt pretty proud of myself. Then I went to a house party, got drunk, and ate a Slim Jim.
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An Open Letter to Jim Halpert
Hi, Jim. I don’t know if you know me, but I’ve been watching you for a while now. You seem like an okay dude, but you also seem like you could use a wake-up call. Consider this to be that.
I’ve been waiting. I’ve been waiting for you to realize that pulling pranks on Dwight and your other co-workers was fun and cute six years ago, but now you’re a fucking adult with...
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Seattle is objectively superior to the place you... →
I miss Seattle, you guys. Everything on this list is true.
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Working From Home Observation #142
Because I work from home, I usually don’t shower until I’m going out in the evening, after work. This means I often wear the same clothes on daytime errands as I did the night before.
So yes, I spend most of my life in a never-ending walk of shame.
But I mean, these clothes are still clean, you guys, and I’m still clean, and it seems silly to shower again and change clothes...
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Movies I saw in 2011
I keep track of the movies I watch with a Google Calendar. I mark down when I saw the movie, where I saw it, who I saw it with, and whether I’d seen it before. Here are some facts about my movie viewing habits in 2011:
I saw 122 movies in 2011.
I saw 7 of those movies twice in 2011 - Scott Pilgrim vs the World, The Brothers Bloom, Midnight in Paris, Attack the Block, Halloween III, The...
December 2011
6 posts
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I just wrote this ten second song about Game of...